Fourth Meditation

Today I positioned myself with back against the wall. (No creeps today.) I had to begin by sitting in the lotus position and dangling an orange poof from a string. (My little Gentleman caller insisted I needed to amuse him a moment.) Soon I was focusing on my breathing. Do you know how hard it is to coordinate rhythmic breathing, pushing out thoughts, and focusing on one aesthetic thing ALL at once? This breathing thing is pretty tough. Don't get me wrong- I didn't just make the blondest statement of the year. I mean getting into the habit deep breathing that starts in your belly and rises in your chest is quite a coordinating feat in itself. Unless you are already of a singing disposition or a hard-core yoga buff. Anyways, this I must work on before a habit of meditation can solidify.
Today I chose the focal point of sapphire beads and surrendering to the waves of a likewise colored, limitless ocean. I don't have expertise in this matter but I suspect there is subliminal significance to what your mind choosing to visualize at times of meditation. I will have to look into it. I largely held a visualization, one which is becoming a regular appearance before my mind's eye, of a blue triangle with purple rays uniting my mind, spirit, and body (or as the lotus position simulates the unity and balance if your physical and metaphysical members.) One unifying triangle of the mind, spirit and body- this was a strong picture that held all other thoughts at bay and even made a quite enough respite for me to think on my personal balance and unity, how powerful they are combined. I was able to recall my mind back to the place I described yesterday, one of strange personal awareness that plays with my sense of depth, but only briefly.
I finished rather abruptly though for I was not able to completely get my mind off of all the things about my life I am rather anxious about at the present. I will continue to hammer away at the build-up of mental gunk on my conscious though, and forge for my mind and new mental superhighway, a conduit of change in my life.